On Healing Circles by Naimah Edwards
It was Tuesday, June 11, the second day of my internship at Full Picture Justice (FPJ), and my first healing circle of any kind. And I was nervous. What kind of people will show up? Will I be liked? Will I have to spill my guts in front of all of my new coworkers?
Around 6pm, I heard the doorbell ring, footsteps ascending the staircase, and the rumbling of unfamiliar voices. I walked into a space that suddenly possessed drastically different energy, despite being the main room of the office. The walls, tables, and seats seemed to take on a new purpose. A circle of chairs surrounded an ornate little side table, draped with an astronomical purple cloth and covered in knickknacks: candles, pictures, brochures, trinkets of all sorts. I realized that the smell teasing my nostrils for the past few hours was a complimentary dinner for the attendees, lovingly prepared by Ellison. A few people were playing cards. I introduced myself and we took seats in the circle with our food.
At the moment that Rigo announced the official start of the circle, I once again felt the energy of the room shift. Everyone assumed a tranquil silence, a kind of listening that seemed to open up the room to a new wave of love, expectation, and embrace. Sandra read an opening poem. A shiver wracked through my spine. As Rigo ran through the guidelines, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. The little table that sits in the center of our circle is the centerpiece, a fixture for the eyes if anyone feels uncomfortable making eye contact while sharing. A talking piece is passed around to ensure attention on the speaker. The first 15 minutes are dedicated to making space for attendees to talk about their week and answer an icebreaker question; then comes the values round, in which we all state two words to describe what we’re bringing to the circle and what we hope to leave with. Each person’s contribution is met with a chorus of thank you’s.
In these 90 minutes, every word felt sacred, every smile gilded, every thank you a sealed prayer. I was stunned by people’s stories - the despair many had faced, succumbed to, and were recovering from. The lives that led community members to our healing circle were far from easy. And yet, I had never encountered such kindness, thoughtfulness, and reverence for the journey of life as I did among these people. After the circle adjourned, newfound friends approached me, expressing their excitement at my attendance and hope for new connection. Two circle members insisted on walking me to the Bart station - which is a one-minute walk from the office - to make sure that I started a safe trip home. Despite the heavy topics covered in the circle, as I boarded the train, I felt lighter than I had in months.
The subsequent meetings have only reaffirmed what I felt on that first night. FPJ’s Healing Circles are truly remarkable. They are built on trust, mutual respect, and a willingness to be vulnerable. Attendees lead with open hearts, and in return, leave with their hearts (and bellies) full. As an organization dedicated to healing communities impacted by incarceration, FPJ is deeply involved with justice-oriented initiatives on a judicial and political level. However, the justice they engender on the personal level may just be their trump card. Many community members have been coming to our office weekly for close to 2 years, and have watched the circle double, triple, and quadruple. They have shared their emotional journeys and supported each other through moments high and low. Others show up on a Tuesday for the first time. Every single person bares their lives without question or criticism regardless.
As an Ohioan attending college in Boston, I arrived in California carrying several worries about being so far from what I knew. Identity struggles are at an all time high at 20 years old, and so much of college is centered around being perceived by others and transactional or conditional relationships. The two months I have spent here have slid each fret one by one from my shoulders, replacing them with gifts in the form of experience. Healing Circles are a far cry from the environment I have adjusted to in Boston. Contrary to a never-ending breakneck pace and surface-level exchanges, Tuesdays from 6:30-8pm , FPJ offers a space to slow down and sit with your heart and mind and those of others. As a result, I feel more connected with myself and more forthcoming. I’ve grown to embrace the uncertainty of life and appreciate transitions. I exercise more empathy in my everyday interactions. I’ve improved my communication with loved ones. Most notably, I’ve learned that life never stops being new, regardless of age - and that it’s never too late to heal.
